Did you know the earliest man-made mirrors date back to 6200 BC? These small, obscure mirrors were found in Anatolia, now modern Turkey, and were made from polished obsidian. If you’re not familiar with obsidian, it’s black volcanic glass, known for its extreme sharpness, and was often used as a cutting tool or as a weapon. While shiny, obsidian’s reflective power is minimal, so these early mirrors were not that effective.
Polished copper mirrors started to appear in Mesopotamia around 4000 BC and later in ancient Egypt around 3000 BC. Bronze mirrors appeared in Egypt around 2900 BC, and in China about 900 years later. Early bronze mirrors were usually round disks with handles made of wood, ivory, or metal.
Their reflective qualities were much improved from earlier mirrors, but still limited to how well the copper or bronze could be polished.
The first glass mirrors appeared around 300 AD. They were very small, consisting of concave or convex metal surfaces with glass coatings. As glassmaking skills improved, the quality of glass that could be used for manufacturing mirrors also improved, but their reflective qualities were limited by the reflective quality of the metal backing.
In the 15th and 16th centuries, Italians began to use silver-mercury amalgams to design clearer, more reflective mirrors. In 1825, German chemist Justus Von Liebig invented the silvering process, using silver nitrate to create a thin, reflective layer of silver on glass. This was the advent of the modern mirror that’s still in use today.
Today, mirror manufacturers still utilize Von Liebig’s process, although aluminum is now more commonly used than silver.
Interestingly, American inventor Charles Ritchel is credited with inventing the funhouse mirror, which he originally called “Ritchel’s Laugh-O-Graphs.” Ritchel’s mirrors were curved and used convex and concave sections to create distorted images, giving rise to the funhouse mirrors often seen in amusement parks, circuses, and carnivals.
Ancient history records that Archimedes used mirrors as a weapon of mass destruction, focusing the energy of the sun on attacking naval forces to set their ships ablaze. Scientists use mirrors to steer and shape laser beams for civilian and military purposes. Law enforcement and the military also use mirrors to look around corners, over or under obstacles, to view hard-to-reach areas for inspection purposes, or in lasers.
However, the general purpose of the mirror hasn’t changed over the centuries. A mirror is designed to reflect light to create an image of yourself. The better the quality of the mirror, and the more light available to reflect, the more accurate the quality of the image it creates.
Today, we use mirrors to create and maintain our personal image throughout the day, to check for oncoming traffic while driving, or to capture the light of distant stars.
Simply put, a mirror is designed to reflect your image back to you.
That being said, let me ask a simple, yet profound question.
Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
Do you see yourself, or someone else?
We live today in a world of pretenders, people who want to look and act like they are someone they are not. Social media has amplified this “Pretender Effect” as millions of people around the world are seeking their 15 seconds of fame by putting themselves out there, mimicking other successful or famous people, and trying to garner attention.
Groupthink has become the norm. People everywhere are trying to get others to conform. To be like them. To mindlessly act like them. To embrace their own twisted thoughts and ideas as their own. To blindly follow the crowd. Don’t think for yourself, act for yourself, or be yourself. We’ll tell you how to think, what to say, and how to act. Be like me!
How is that a recipe for success in your life?
I was recently in Las Vegas speaking at a conference. As I walked from the Bellagio to Caesar’s Forum for the event, I noticed a street performer dressed as Michael Jackson. He entertained the crowd with his renditions of some of Michael’s signature dance moves. While he was good, his attire and dance moves were modeled after Jackson (and quite precise), everyone knew he wasn’t “The King of Pop.”
He was a Wanna-Bee, an Impostor, a Pretender.
There is only one Michael Jackson, and there is only one You.
In every major city, you’ll find characters like this, and (of course) Elvis Presley. As of February 2024, there are an estimated 400,000 Elvis impersonators worldwide. Perhaps that’s why I can travel almost anywhere in the world and can’t seem to escape seeing an Elvis impersonator in an airport, a restaurant, a hotel, or at a busy intersection.
Some of them are really good. They look and sound the part, even down to the signature hip and knee thrusts, but everyone knows they are not “The King.” Others, not so much. They are the ones who cause Elvis to figuratively turn over in his grave.
They are Wanna-Bees, Impostors, Pretenders.
There is only one Elvis Presley, and there is only one You.
Dr. John Maxwell is considered the foremost authority on leadership in the world. He’s written more books on leadership than the #2, #3, and #4 authors on leadership combined. Dr. John has spoken on some of the biggest stages, mentored some of the world’s most influential people, and leads an organization with more than 50,000 coaches worldwide.
Those 50,000 coaches are personally mentored by Dr. John Maxwell. They have been given a license to teach Dr. John’s content to individuals and organizations through masterminds, lunch-n-learns, and workshops. Through in-person and virtual sessions, Dr. John continues to teach, train, and pour into the lives of his Maxwell Leadership coaches.
But no matter how good these individuals are at teaching Dr. John’s content, they are not, and will never be, Dr. John Maxwell. They may sound like him, adopt some of his mannerisms, and even use many of his famous quips and quotes, but they will never become him. They may represent Dr. John in the marketplace, but they will never be Dr. John.
There is only one Dr. John Maxwell, and there is only one You.
So, who do you see when you look in the mirror?
Do you see yourself, or someone else?
We all have our heroes, celebrities, people we look up to. While we can admire them, adopt some of their qualities or mannerisms into our lives, we can never become them.
I’ve had the privilege to train with Taky Kimura and Richard Bustillo, two of Bruce Lee’s original students. While they were quite gifted in the art of Jeet Kune Do, they were quick to tell me they were not, and would never be, Bruce Lee. They were privileged to train with him, learn from him, and help perpetuate his Art in the lives of future students, but they were focused on becoming the best version of themselves they could be, while honoring what they learned from the legendary “Iron Dragon.”
That’s an attitude we should all embrace.
If you’re a Pretender, you’re a fraud. You can’t be anyone other than yourself, just as no one else can be you, no matter how hard they try. So, rather than spending all your time, energy, and effort to become someone you can’t, why not focus your time, energy, and effort on becoming the best version of yourself you can become?
You can only be you, so stop trying to be someone else.
This is where the Mirror of Self-Reflection comes in. It’s where we have a candid “Man in the Mirror” or “Woman in the Mirror” look at ourselves. When we pause to truly reflect, we start to examine our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We see ourselves for who we are.
A Pretender, an Impostor, a Wanna-Bee, or daily striving to become a better version of who we are and what we do.
The Mirror of Self-Reflection can also help us analyze, question, and challenge limiting beliefs and habits that aren’t serving us well. It can help us build our confidence in ourselves, strengthen our emotional intelligence, and clarify our values to ensure our actions align with what truly matters.
Remember, there can only be one You.
Are you developing this version of you, or still trying to be someone you’re not?
You’re unique, one of a kind. There is no one else who has ever lived, or who will ever live, who will be just like you. That makes you priceless, invaluable. Embrace that.
Don’t be a pretender. You were put on this earth on purpose, for a purpose. Find your purpose and fulfill your purpose. This is how you find fulfillment, satisfaction, and experience a meaningful, successful life.
Love your True You. Embrace into your core values and beliefs. Find your areas of greatest giftedness and focus your energy and efforts there. Live an authentic life, being the best version of you that you can, and work each day to become even better. I love the way Maya Angelou famously summed this up:
“Do the best you can until you know better.
Then, when you know to do better, do better.”
Remember that when you are living as your authentic self, you will build strong, rewarding, meaningful relationships with others. When you’re trying to live a life that isn’t yours, you’re living a lie and people pick up on that. When you’re living as the Genuine You, you’ll attract like-minded people and can form deep, meaningful relationships based on trust and respect.
Lastly, when you’re living as your Authentic Self, you’re going to discover a source of strength that will help you persevere even in difficult times. When you’re focused on developing your true self, you’re empowering yourself to make wise choices, aligned with your values, that will move you toward your purpose.
In 1959, The Platters released the single, “The Great Pretender.” The opening lyrics speak to the outcomes of trying to be someone you’re not:
“Oh-oh yes, I’m the great pretender.
Pretending that I’m doing well.
My need is such, I pretend too much.
I’m lonely but no one can tell…”
Don’t let these lyrics become your swan song. Instead, embrace the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make
you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Remember, there can only be one You.
Are you developing this version of you, or still trying to be someone you’re not?
The world doesn’t need any more Imposters, Wanna-Bees, or Pretenders.
What it does need is for you to be you, and the very best version of you that you can be.
Embrace it. Own It. Live It.
Don’t be a Pretender.
