Battling Entitlement
How did we get to the point where people believe they are entitled simply because they showed up?
I talked to a frustrated employer while in Florida last week. She, like many employers across the United States, was struggling to hire quality people to work in her fast-food restaurant. People with no skills, no experience, and unwilling to learn were demanding they be paid $20 an hour and wanted to work when it was convenient for them to do so.
The few she did hire couldn’t stay off their phone, did the bare minimum, and took no initiative to do more than was required. Rather than being a collaborative, cooperative team member working to provide an exceptional experience for the client, they wanted to do as little as possible while getting paid much more than the actual value they delivered to the business.
Why should an employer pay you $20 an hour when you’re only delivering $8-10 of value to their business? If you’re 40 years old, and still working at an entry-level job, what does that say about you? Either you’re not applying yourself, or you’ve convinced yourself the world owes you a living.
What have you done to deserve what you’re demanding of others?
Welcome to Entitlement USA…the place where people believe they should be rewarded simply for who they are rather than the results they deliver. A world where people believe others should give them whatever they want simply because they exist.
By definition, entitlement is the fact of having a right to something. If you own a title to a piece of property, such as land, a home, or an automobile, you are entitled to take possession of that property and use it for your benefit. If you sign a lease for an apartment, you are entitled to move in and take possession of that space for a specified period of time.
Entitlements are often equated with citizenship. If you are a citizen of the United States, you are entitled to certain rights, as defined by our Constitution. The first ten amendments, known as the Bill of Rights, give clear definitions to certain rights or entitlements of U.S. Citizens, such as free speech, no unreasonable search and seizure, and the right to keep and bear arms. Entitlement may also be used to define certain government-sponsored programs for its citizens, such as Social Security and Medicare. If you are a citizen of another country, you are entitled to whatever rights and privileges, if any, that are guaranteed in your governing documents.
However, in today’s context, entitlement has morphed into a narcissistic belief that one is inherently deserving of privilege or special treatment. What today is often deemed as entitlement is nothing more than a self-obsessed, inflated opinion of one’s worth and value simply because one believes they are deserving of more than what they currently have in life.
If we go back a few generations to the Baby Boomers, they were (for the most part) workaholics. Their children, Generation X, often came home from school to an empty house. This is why Gen X is also referred to as the “Latchkey Kids” generation. As they later married and had children of their own, the “Helicopter Parent” was born. Gen Xers wanted their children, the Millennials, to believe they were “special” and tended to spoil them.
This was the “Participation Trophy” generation of kids who got a medal for just showing up. The emphasis was no longer on striving for excellence or competing to be the best of the best. All you had to do was show up, and you were recognized. Children were not taught the value of hard work, working together toward a big stretch goal, being rewarded for excelling, and learning the value of winning and losing along with the lessons each brings to our lives.
We became obsessed with children’s feelings, manufacturing make-believe success in their minds, creating a Me-First mindset in these Millennial children, who are now having children of their own, Gen Z. Their parents continually rewarded them for nothing just to appease them, giving them a false sense of value and worth, resulting in a mistaken belief they are due special treatment simply because of who they are.
As a result, they are ill-prepared to handle the complexities of life. We are now witnessing a generation of youth and young adults who are demanding special treatment, ungrateful, rude, uncaring, and constantly expecting and demanding other people to cater to their absurd whims and wishes. They believe the world owes them without them having to do anything in return.
All the while, they are being deceived into believing they can enjoy the benefits of hard work without actually having to do the work. They believe they can celebrate the win without ever getting off the sidelines and into the game of life.
It’s a state of ignorance where irrational emotions are continuously stirred by those who want to control you, leaving you anxious, angry, and depressed. When you live in an echo chamber of mindless groupthink, you become blind to the truth and you lose your identity. You become a puppet, with someone else pulling the strings and moving your mouth.
You don’t realize that when others think for you, do for you, and provide for you, at least at first. But now, they own you and they can take what is rightfully yours.
So, how do you battle, and conquer, a sense of entitlement?
It starts with accepting a simple truth: Work is essential to success.
You can’t wish your way to success, entitle your way to success. You can only earn your way to success through diligent, hard work.
Work has value. It provides you with an opportunity to learn and grow, to advance, and to get promoted. It allows you to learn a craft, discover and hone a skill set, and master it. Your goal is to become an expert, a World Class Master of Who You Are and What You Do.
When you do that, you’re now in demand, and that increases your value and worth. People will seek you out and pay more to acquire the services of a Master or to purchase a luxury product they create. Ask BMW, Mercedes, or Ferrari.
Ask any professional athlete, successful CEO, world-famous chef or designer, or entrepreneurs like Mark Zuckerburg, Elon Musk, or Jeff Bezos who is worth millions (or billions) of dollars and they will tell you they didn’t entitle their way to the top. They worked their way to the top, learning from failure, until they became the best of the best in their chosen field.
Work adds value to others. When you are part of a team that creates an exceptional product or service, and delivers it with exceptional service, you become a brand that people seek out and desire. Ask Starbucks, Chic-Fil-A, Ruth Chris’ Steak House, or Yeti.
Work is rewarding, and not just in a financial sense. It also provides you with a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. You derive a sense of worth from work that boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem. It makes you feel better about yourself.
On the other hand, entitlement robs you of the benefits of work that I just described. When you don’t work, you never realize your full potential, nor do you experience that sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that makes life worth living. Entitlement leaves you stuck, where you are, as you are, unchanged, with no opportunity for growth or advancement in life.
Entitlement leaves you dependent on others, never having enough, and always wanting more. And, you won’t really enjoy what little you do receive from others, as you didn’t work for it, you didn’t earn it, and you get no sense of lasting satisfaction and fulfillment. Entitlement is a world of hopeless lack, leading to anxiety, anger, and depression.
So, let me leave you leave you with a thought and a question:
In ancient civilizations, if you didn’t work, you didn’t eat. You were expected to contribute, or you were ostracized. This was the original cancel culture. Successful societies require that everyone contributes more in value than they extract in payment. The same is true today. No business can survive if expenses exceed revenue. Neither can a city, state, or nation.
If we instituted this concept today, If you don’t make a meaningful contribution you don’t get paid, would you be on the “go hungry” list?
Entitlement is one of the new drugs enslaving millions of lives, young and old, with the belief that less is more and that we can rely on someone else to provide for us for our entire lives without us having to lift a finger to do anything.
When you live an entitled life, others are telling you what to think, believe, and do. Their greatest weapon is ignorance and groupthink. Once you’ve accomplished their goals and aspirations, they don’t need you anymore.
Then what happens to your entitled way of life?
You are better than that.
Battling entitlement requires that you think for a change, discover and develop your own Black Belt Leader Within, and deploy it in the marketplace. This is what successful people do.
Remember this…
Dr. Alan Zimmerman says in his blog that entitlement serves no useful purpose. It will destroy success, progress, teamwork, self-esteem, self-respect, initiative, motivation, and relationships.
He couldn’t be more right.
You will never rise to your full potential if you simply sit on your butt, hold out your hand, and expect the world to give you something without you giving something in return.
Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Not everyone can be famous, but everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service.”
When we are entitled, we expect other people to serve us.
Only so many people will do that, and for only so long.
When we work, we are serving other people.
This is how we become great.
And don’t forget…
Successful people do daily what unsuccessful people do sometimes, or not at all.
Do you want to be successful, or entitled?