Born on November 27, 1976, Jaleel White was born in Culver City, CA. On the advice of his preschool teacher, Jaleel started appearing in TV commercials at the age of 3. One of his early notable appearances was for Jell-O pudding pops, appearing alongside Bill Cosby. His first television role was a guest stint on The Jeffersons in 1984.
He also played Charlie in the TV series, Charlie and Company, and appeared in the pilot episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss. Jaleel also had a guest role on Mr. Belvedere and later had a supporting role in Cadets. He was later part of the cast of characters in the film Camp Cucamonga, appearing alongside Sherman Hemsley and Jennifer Aniston.
His breakthrough role came at the age of 12 when Jaleel was cast for the role of Steve Urkel on the TV series, Family Matters. Intended as a one-time guest appearance, the loveable character of Urkel so captivated audiences, Jaleel continued as a guest star for the remainder of the first season, then joined the cast as a regular in Season Two.
He went on to play not only Steve Urkel for several seasons, but also expanded the role to also play his alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle, and Myrtle Urkel. The series became one of the longest-running sitcoms with a predominantly Black cast in television history. In 1992, Jaleel was featured in a TV special where he played a fictionalized version of himself making a film, while also playing Steve Urkel.
Jaleel last played Steve Urkel in the 2023 movie, Urkel Saves Santa: The Movie.
If you don’t know the character, Steve Urkel was the loveable nerd with a tendency to stir up unintended controversy. He was initially considered a nuisance by the entire Winslow family, but they later grew to accept and love him for the unique person he was. His thick eyeglasses, high-water pants supported by suspenders, multi-colored cardigan sweaters, bad posture, and a squeaky voice only added to his geekiness.
His love for Laura Winslow often set the stage for many of the comic events that made the series so popular. He was a brilliant student and a genius inventor; however, Urkel’s inventions often went awry, resulting in property damage and personal injury. His fantastical but unreliable inventions were central to many of the TV series’ ongoing plots and gags.
This, coupled with his clumsiness, endeared the character to the audience.
The signature line that made Jaleel famous?
“Did I do that?”
The short answer, for Steve (and for YOU), is YES! You did do that.
And just like Steve Urkel was able to use a transformation chamber to reprogram his DNA so he showed up as the suave, sophisticated, handsome, and super-cool Stefan Urquelle, you too can transform how you show up, and the outcomes in life you experience. You simply have to reprogram your thoughts.
As you think, you say, do, and become.
Legendary UCLA Basketball Coach, John Wooden, once said, “There is a choice you have to make in everything you do. So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you.”
Coach Wooden understood that every choice, the decision to act or not to act, starts with a thought. He helped his athletes understand that to win at a higher level, they had to first think at a higher level. Thinking at a higher level led to higher-level choices that, in turn, led to higher-level outcomes.
Did I do that? Of course you did. The thoughts you think become the actions you take.
The Urkel character was a byproduct of human genetics. We all are. Ancestral heritage and certain traits are hard-coded into our DNA and passed down generationally. This can include physical appearance, metabolic adaptations, predisposition to certain diseases, or psychological responses to trauma.
For example, the people of Tibet have inherited a genetic variation that helps them thrive in low-oxygen environments without overproducing red blood cells. Some Northern Europeans with a long history of dairy farming carry a trait that allows them to digest milk well into adulthood. Severe trauma, like that experienced by Holocaust survivors, can chemically tag DNA, potentially making descendants more vulnerable to PTSD or anxiety.
Behavioral science has also found that behavioral genetics, the building blocks for careers, are also influenced by our genes. Cognitive aptitude, stress response, and certain personality traits (like conscientiousness) are often inherited factors. Mathematical capacity, spatial reasoning, memory, the desire to learn, the drive to succeed, and work ethic are linked, in part, to behavioral genetics.
There are also specific genetic markers that are linked to leadership tendencies.
While we don’t inherit our parents’ specific knowledge or vocational training, our genetic inheritance does provide a distinct baseline for our capacity to learn, perform certain tasks, or execute specific skills.
Steve Urkel was also a byproduct of his life experience. Again, so are we. The world we are exposed to from birth to around 7th or 8th grade molds and shapes our thoughts and beliefs. Our behaviors, in large part, are a byproduct of our upbringing. The culture we grew up in, the trends that shaped the world around us, and the education we received all helped mold and shape us into the person we are today.
The relationships we forged, the events we lived through, the tragedies and triumphs we experienced, these too left an indelible mark on the person we have become. Our mannerisms, likes and dislikes, our beliefs and opinions, are often those we have embraced as our own from the people who shaped and molded the early, formative years of our lives.
For the most part, we are taught WHAT to think and not HOW to think. So, we end up becoming a composite of our genetics and the most influential people in our lives who programmed our thoughts and beliefs, and we embraced them as our own. Unless or until we learn HOW to think for ourselves, and think FOR a change, we remain a hodgepodge of the thoughts and beliefs of others.
This is the world of Steve Urkel, a byproduct of his ancestral DNA, the family and influencers who helped nurture him, and the life experience he went through. Steve is a good-natured, highly intelligent, awkward, and well-intentioned guy who just can’t quite get things right.
With the best of intentions, he wreaks havoc in the world of the Winslows. When the world comes crashing down around him, and the best laid plans of mice and men go awry, we see the best of Steve Urkel when he asks with a sheepish grin and his signature nasally tone,
“Did I do that?”
There’s a little bit of Steve Urkel in most of us. Perhaps that’s why we can relate so well to this character. He helps us laugh at ourselves. But this awkward, but highly intelligent young man invents a transformation machine that brings out the very best qualities of himself when he enters as Steve Urkel and exits as the suave, sophisticated, handsome, and super-cool Stefan Urquelle. But here’s something I don’t want you to miss in this transformation.
It’s the same Steve Urkel, just a better version.
While we don’t have a transformation chamber, we too can experience a similar, life-altering transformation in our own lives. That transformation occurs, little by little, as we daily improve the quality of our thinking.
Albert Einstein brilliantly said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” That quote is brilliantly played out throughout the TV series, Family Matters. The quality of thinking that got Steve Urkel into some awkward (and at times some dangerous) situations was insufficient to get him out of those jams.
The same is true for you and me.
Einstein also said, “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” As everything we say, do, and become starts with a thought, we have to first change our thoughts to change what we say, do, and become. If we think the same thoughts, which lead to the same actions, and expect a different outcome, Einstein defined this as the very definition of insanity.
So, when you find yourself, like Steve Urkel, experiencing an uncomfortable outcome, and you sheepishly ask, “Did I do that?” the answer is YES, but you don’t have to do it again.
The brain is perhaps the most complex and powerful computer in the known universe. It effortlessly processes the equivalent of one exaflop, one billion billion calculations, every second, using a mere 20 watts of power, a third of what’s required to light a 60-watt lightbulb.
That makes it millions of times more energy efficient than our largest supercomputers.
While traditional computers use separate units for processing and memory, the brain merges these functions across a massively parallel, self-rewiring network of neurons. This self-rewiring function is essential for learning, unlearning, and relearning. This is where real transformation takes place.
We have the ability to replace thoughts that aren’t serving us well with other thoughts that do. How?
Plasticity.
Some 86-100 billion neurons, connected through a gateway of more than 100 trillion interconnections known as synapses, are constantly sharing and retrieving information from the brain. As we learn and continue to access that information, our brains create neural shortcuts to speed easy access.
This process integrates context, intuition, emotion, and pattern recognition, far exceeding the speed and capacity of any binary logic used by a computer. The more frequently we access and use that information (aka thinking), the stronger the neural connection.
This is how habits are formed.
But remember, our brains are self-rewiring. This is a process known as neuroplasticity. It’s the brain’s ongoing ability to adapt, grow, and reorganize its physical structure and neural pathways. This is how the nervous system compensates for injury or adjusts to a new environment.
Even better, neuroplasticity is how the brain rewrites dysfunctional habits through learning and experience. It’s the process by which we replace thoughts that aren’t serving us well with other thoughts that do. This is the scientific process by which we can improve the quality of our thinking, and in doing so improve the quality of our saying, doing, and becoming.
This is how we make the transformation from Steve Urkel to Stefan Urquelle.
Because of the brain’s plasticity, we have the ability to adapt and change. We don’t have to remain where we are. We don’t have to remain as we are. We can become a better version of who we are and what we do as we engage in the transformational process of upleveling the quality of our thinking.
Yes, you did it, whatever it was. But the good news is that you don’t have to do it again.
You can change.
Let me share a simple, 3-step framework to help you start this transformation. The 3R Process of Transformation: Recognize, Reframe, and Repeat.
First, you must learn to RECOGNIZE your thoughts. Everything begins with awareness. You can’t change what you don’t notice, so you’ve got to become intentional about listening to the conversation you’re having with yourself. Most people never challenge the conversation they are having with themselves, but blindly accept every single thought as true. Instead, ask yourself three simple questions:
· What story am I telling myself?
· Is this thought helping or hurting me?
· Would the best version of me think this way?
Don’t miss this.. The first step isn’t changing your thinking. It’s catching your thoughts as you become more intentional and aware of what you’re thinking, and asking WHY.
The second R is to REFRAME your thoughts. Not every thought deserves your agreement. Not every thought you think is useful, nor is it necessarily true. Remember, many of the thoughts we think were planted in our minds during the early, formative years of our lives when we lacked the capacity to question or challenge them.
This is why SO many people go through life struggling with limiting thoughts and beliefs. Well-intentioned parents and influencers passed on the same quality of thinking they were programmed with, perpetuating this generationally.
We tell ourselves we are failures, we’re not smart, we can’t learn, we are unable to change, life is never fair, bad things always happen, or we will never be healthy, wealthy, or wise. We make all manner of excuses, not because these things are true, but because that’s the programming we received, and we believed it to be true.
Henry Ford said it well, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
As we think, we say, do, and become.
So reframing your thoughts is a process of letting go of thoughts that weaken you with thoughts that strengthen you. It’s as simple as turning an excuse into an opportunity.
Henry Ford also said, “Failure is the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
So, when negative, limiting thoughts are RECOGNIZED, start to REFRAME them by asking yourself, “Is this thought useful, or is it simply an excuse?”
You’ve failed, but you can learn. You may not know something yet, but you can learn. The goal is to choose a more accurate and empowering statement, shifting your thoughts and beliefs from “I can’t” to “I can.”
Just as Steve Urkel became Stefan Urquelle through transformation, you change your future by reframing thoughts that weaken you so they strengthen you.
The third R in the process is REPEAT. The thoughts that shape our habits, that in turn govern our lives, can be changed. But it’s a process that takes time. When it comes to neuroplasticity, neurons that fire together wire together. One better thought doesn’t do a lot, but better thoughts, repeated again and again, rewire the brain.
Don’t forget that your brain literally strengthens the pathways you use most often. Just as important as building new pathways is breaking down old ones. As you start to repeatedly think new and better thoughts, your brain starts to reinforce the shortcut to this new, improved quality of thinking. At the same time, it starts to degrade access to the pathways to that negative, limited thinking you’re replacing.
The more you think a thought, the easier it becomes to think again. Eventually it transforms your attitude, habits, decisions, and your very identity itself.
You become less of a Steve Urkel and more of a Stefan Urquelle.
You don’t become what you wish. You become what you repeatedly think, believe, and practice. As you think, you say, do, and become.
Think of it this way. Thoughts shape beliefs. Beliefs drive actions. Actions repeated over time become the habits that govern our lives. Our habits influence our character and ultimately drive us to our destiny.
Everything begins with a thought. Think better, choose better, and you become better.
Every day you have a choice. To feed fear or faith. To feed excuses or ownership. To feed limitations or possibilities. To remain where you are, as you are, unchanged, or make an intentional decision to challenge the status quo and change things for the better.
The thoughts you consistently feed become the person you eventually become. You don’t become Stefan overnight. You become Stefan one thought at a time.
Recognize what you’re thinking. Reframe what isn’t serving you. Repeat what will strengthen you.
The thoughts you think become the words you speak, the choices you make, the life you live, and ultimately the person you become. Martial artists don’t earn a black belt in one perfect class. They earn it through thousands of intentional repetitions.
In like manner, we don’t transform our minds through one inspiring idea. We transform them through a disciplined repetition of better thoughts. This is how we transform who we are becoming so the next time we ask out loud:
Did I do that? Those around you will say YES, and we’re so glad that you did.
