My father loves pecan pie. So much so that if he found out a pecan pie was waiting in the wings for dessert, he always made sure he didn’t overload his plate with what he called “the appetizers,” even if this included turkey and dressing, ham and dumplings, or a pot roast and potatoes.
To him, pecan pie was the entrée. It was the “main attraction” at the dinner table.
When the extended family was around the family table for Thanksgiving or Christmas, the standing joke of all the in-laws and outlaws was to try to get my dad to put a few more “appetizers” on his plate in an effort to fill his belly before the pecan pie started its rounds around the table. Try as we might, my dad would always reply, with a smile on his face:
“Thank you, but no. I’m just making room for space.”
Dad always made sure there was just enough room in his belly for at least one piece of pecan pie, and if a pumpkin pie was also present, he had to make some room for that, too. Add a little whipped cream or vanilla ice cream to the mix, and he was in his happy place.
I grew to like that idea so much so that when I know my wife is baking a pumpkin pie, I too will decline to eat as much as I normally would during the day, making sure my stomach is primed and ready to help myself as soon as it clears the oven and cools enough to eat.
I’m typically good for about half a pumpkin pie while it’s still warm to the touch. The standing joke around my house is that I am testing the pie to make sure it is okay for the rest of the family to eat, and one slice is never enough to be sure of that. My grandson is learning to follow in my footsteps, so he helps me test out the pie when he’s hanging with Grandpa.
We, too, like my dad, have learned the importance of “making room for space.”
It’s about creating excess capacity in my life so when an opportunity appears, we are prepared. There is room, excess capacity, to see and seize it.
By definition, capacity is the maximum amount that something can contain or produce. Capacity defines the limits of what’s possible.
There’s a lesson here, and it’s not just about pecan or pumpkin pie.
Are you creating room for space?
Are you creating excess capacity in your life so when opportunity shows up, you are prepared to see it and seize it?
What is your capacity for more?
I grew up in the United States learning the imperial system of measurement, non-decimal units like inches, feet, pounds, gallons, and miles. If you grew up in most of the rest of the world, you learned a decimal-based system of measurement known as the metric system. This is the global measurement standard for science and trade.
Learning to cook as a young boy, I remember Mom teaching me about liquid measurements, starting with an ounce. Sixteen ounces make a pint, two pints make a quart, and four quarts make a gallon. If you got the measurements wrong, whatever recipe you were working on didn’t turn out quite right.
But try as I might, I couldn’t get more than an ounce of liquid or powder into a one-ounce measuring spoon. I couldn’t get more than a pint of milk into a pint-sized cup. The size of the measuring instrument dictated its capacity. That’s all the container would hold – no more.
If I needed two pints of milk for a recipe, I had two options. First, I had to pour one ounce of liquid into the container, pour it into the mixing bowl, making room so I could refill the measuring cup once again. My only other option was to get a larger container offering greater capacity than what I had at my disposal.
I guess there could have been a third option, to pour and guess, but that never seemed to work out well, so I didn’t ever try it more than once or twice.
The capacity dilemma is real. It’s the maximum something can contain or produce.
My pastor commented the other day that the garage where his son used to park his car had become a storage shed after his son moved out on his own. Slowly, unceremoniously, boxes began to fill the space until today, there’s barely room to get into that area of the garage.
If his son were to return home for a visit, he’d have to park his car outside as there isn’t enough space to park his car in the garage. What was excess capacity has been filled to the ceiling with stuff, mostly junk that will never again be used, simply filling what was once a useful, valuable space.
What’s taking up valuable space in your life?
Because I’ve authored a book on Success and speak often on the topic, I’m often asked about success blockers in our lives. I’ve been asked so many times I’ve even created an online course to help individuals identify and remove the stuff that’s taking up valuable space in their lives, preventing them from experiencing more success.
For some, many in fact, it’s limiting beliefs. For others, it’s doubt and fear. In my discussions with others, it’s the status quo, bad habits, or feelings of insecurity or inferiority. All of these, and others like them, are success blockers that take up valuable space in our lives – leaving no room to learn, grow, improve, and increase our capacity to say, do, and become more.
Once we reach our capacity, there’s no room for anything more.
In science, we learn from the principle of impenetrability (solidity) that no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time. It’s a physical limitation of matter. Because my pastor’s garage is full of boxes, his son can’t park his car in the same bay at the same time. Like the pint size measuring cup, something has to be emptied out before there is room for more.
Once we reach our capacity, there’s no room for anything more.
So, if our minds are full of limiting beliefs, doubt and fear, bad habits, feelings of insecurity or inferiority, or acceptance of the status quo, there’s little room, if any, for anything else.
And, if what we focus on expands, and we’re focusing on all the wrong things in our thought life, we fill our minds with the things that hold us back, leaving no room for the thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that can move us forward.
We’ve got to start making room for space. If we don’t, we will remain where we are, as we are, unchanged. Because once we reach our capacity, there’s no room for anything more.
Remember, the capacity dilemma is real. It’s the maximum something can contain or produce. So, we either have to increase our capacity so there is room for more, or we’ve got to clean out some of what’s already there, expanding the capacity we already have.
Or maybe, must maybe, it is a bit of both.
Making room for space starts with our thoughts. Why? As we think, we say, do, and become. If we’re thinking negative, limiting, fearful thoughts, we become a negative, limited, fearful person. If we replace our negative thinking with positive, limitless, fearless thoughts, we become a positive, limitless, fearless person.
How do we do that?
It starts with challenging the status quo and not settling for good enough. David Schwartz’s classic book, “The Magic of Thinking BIG,” reminds us that if we believe bigger things, we can live bigger lives. Big ideas are no harder to achieve than small ideas. It only requires that we “make room for space” so we can believe bigger things and live bigger lives.
We do that by changing “I can’t” to “I can.”
We do that by changing “I won’t” to “I will.”
French psychologist Emile Coue taught his clients to make room for space by expanding their capacity to believe in themselves by reciting several times a day the simple affirmation: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” He was training his patients to create excess capacity by replacing thoughts that weren’t serving them well with thoughts that were.
This is using the power of Affirmation to expand existing capacity, making better use of what’s already present and available to us.
What about increasing capacity?
That’s where personal growth comes in.
By definition, personal growth is the continuous, intentional journey of improving oneself by developing NEW skills, awareness, and behaviors to enhance overall well-being and reach one’s full potential. It’s about actively becoming a better version of yourself by identifying areas for change and taking steps to GROW rather than remaining static.
To grow means to expand, to become larger, to increase capacity.
It’s making room for even more space.
We go through stages in our personal growth journey. Until we start, we don’t know what we don’t know in order to grow. Once we start learning, we discover what we need to know in order to grow. As we start to apply what we are discovering, we’re now learning what we need to know in order to grow – and we start to grow, expand, and increase our capacity.
But something else happens along the way. As we expand the quality of our thinking, we start to realize there is still more we don’t know we need to know in order to keep growing. Now we go deeper in our learning, discovering even more of what we need to know in order to keep growing.
And as we apply the more we are discovering, we are now learning more of what we need to know in order to grow at a deeper level – and we continue to grow deeper, expand farther, and dramatically increase our capacity.
Remember, as we expand the quality of our thinking, we are increasing the capacity (and the quality) of our saying, doing, becoming, and accomplishing.
This is making MORE room for space.
The capacity dilemma is real. It’s the maximum something can contain or produce.
Once we reach our capacity, there’s no room for anything more.
We have three choices when this happens.
First, we accept the capacity limitation, remaining where we are, as we are, unchanged. We settle for less, limit our potential, and stifle the success we can experience in our lives.
Second, we can expand our capacity by replacing the thoughts that are not serving us well with thoughts that do. In doing so, we expand our existing capacity, expanding our potential and success opportunities in the process.
Third, we engage in personal growth. We not only replace the thoughts that aren’t serving us well with thoughts that do, but we learn, grow, and apply what we’re learning, increasing our capacity to say, do, become, and accomplish more.
Only three options, and (as always) the choice is yours.
Remember, life is a series of choices and consequences.
If you want the consequences of your life to be better, you’ve got to change your choices.
The capacity dilemma is real. It’s the maximum something can contain or produce.
Once you reach your capacity, there’s no room for anything more.
This, too, is a choice, and (as always) the choice is yours.
Are you okay to remain where you are, as you are, unchanged?
Or are you willing to “make room for space?”
