Naysayers

Not every opinion is worth your attention.

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The world is full of negative people.

They are known by many names: Cynic, Critic, Pessimist, Realist, or Misanthrope.  My Mom refers to them as Naysayers.

By definition, a Naysayer is a person who criticizes, objects to, or opposes someone or something.  These people distrust others, believe everything is done for selfish reasons, and constantly complain and put others down.  They are negative, cynical, and at times rude.

There will always be Naysayers.

Naysayers are easy to spot.  They are the people who are always negative about anything and everything.  They deny, refuse, oppose, or are skeptical or cynical about life. Naysayers are the people who amplify negativity and doubt, point out all the reasons you can’t, and spend their time spreading doubt and disbelief.

Sadly, they are everywhere.

There will always be Naysayers.

Naysayers are individuals who consistently express doubt, negativity, or skepticism about your goals, ideas, or progress. You don’t have to look too far to find them. 

Consider the overly cautious family member or friend who is always warning you about potential risks or failures, emphasizing why your plan might not work rather than offering encouragement and support.

Perhaps it is the competitive peer who constantly seeks to dismiss or downplay your strengths, talent, and achievements. Their own insecurities or competitive nature makes it hard for them to support your efforts or celebrate your success.

Another Naysayer is the Realist.  Realists believe they are just being practical, but often use this as a mask for pessimism. They frequently focus on the worst-case scenarios and assume failure is the likely outcome.  These are the folks who douse any spark of creativity with the waters of doubt and disbelief.

In a work setting, a critical boss or team member may constantly criticize or critique your ideas or efforts.  Rather than offering constructive feedback, they prefer instead to offer doubt, negativity, and discouragement.

Naysayers also abound on the Internet.  In social media circles, the Troll thrives on pointing out flaws or weaknesses in your endeavors, often for their own amusement or to bring others down.  Jealous of the success of others, they prefer to belittle, humiliate, embarrass, or even cancel those they secretly wish they could be.

Who you surround yourself with matters.  Some so-called friends, driven by envy, may subtly (or even openly) criticize your efforts to undermine your confidence and prevent you from succeeding.  Even the disillusioned mentor, who has faced setbacks in their own life or career, may project their insecurities, failures, or experiences onto you, cautioning against risks because of their personal history of failure.

The bad news is this. There will always be Naysayers.

But there’s good news too.  You don’t have to believe them.

Everyone has an opinion, and most people are more than willing to offer one, even if it is not grounded in Truth.  When I’m talking to audiences about overcoming doubt, disbelief, and self-deprecation, I often remind them of a simple truth about the true value of most opinions others want to share with you:

“Their opinion, and $1.00, will buy a Sweet Tea at McDonald's, nothing more.” 

That’s how invaluable most opinions are.

Remember, there will always be Naysayers. 

The good news is you don’t have to accept their negativity.

Ask Al Caicedo.

I met Al Caicedo about a year ago. I’d previously seen him on CNBC, Fox Business, and other national television shows as a financial expert.  Al invited me to keynote his “Boom Conference” in Dallas earlier this year, speaking to a number of highly successful financial professionals in the room. I had a great time talking about “Success Foundations” from my latest book, “Black Belt Secrets of Success.” 

I was later invited to one of Al’s famous “Discovery Days”, where he invites financial professionals interested in up-leveling their practice to learn some new and innovative strategies to do just that.

It was there I heard Al’s inspirational “Naysayer Story.”

Al left a successful career in the military to join Northwestern Mutual as a financial advisor. After learning the ropes and experiencing early success in the business, he was invited to a meeting with senior management.  Expecting to be congratulated for his success, Al was surprised to hear the organization’s leadership tell him that they did not believe that he would be successful, long-term, in this industry.

He was told he should consider another field of work.

Ouch!

Yes, there will always be Naysayers.

Al had a choice.  He could accept the opinion of the leadership and their belief he didn’t have what it takes to be a thriving, long-term success in the industry.  Or, Al could choose to believe in himself, gamble on himself, and prove to the Naysayers they were wrong.

Al chose the second.  He chose not to accept the opinion of the Naysayers.

He bet on himself and went out on his own as a financial entrepreneur.

And guess what?

Al succeeded.

Al continued to set records by helping women achieve financial success. He would host educational seminars to outline the steps women could take to achieve financial independence and helped those who asked for his help to implement these steps.

The Naysayers said people wouldn’t come to a seminar if you didn’t feed them.  Al believed you didn’t need to entice people who truly wanted to help themselves, and has been filling rooms with interested prospects without feeding them since 2006.

Each year, he would send his 1099s to his former bosses at Northwestern Mutual to show them their opinion of him was wrong.

Al then set his sights on expanding his in-person seminars into the virtual world.  Again, the Naysayers offered all their opinions of why this would not work. 

“It’s too expensive.”

“Nobody will show up.”

“People won’t share personal information over the phone or a Zoom Call.”

Once again, Al proved them wrong. Today, he’s teaching other financial professionals to replicate his own virtual success and they are engaging clients across the nation who are interested in planning for a more financially secure retirement.

What can we learn from Al’s example that we can apply to our lives? 

First, understand there may be a nugget of truth we can glean, even from the Naysayer. Listen with an open mind.  There may be an insight hidden within their negativity,  The key here is not to take their words personally or allow their doubts to distract you.

Secondly, set boundaries for the Naysayers in your life.  If they are constantly putting you down, discounting what you’re doing, or draining your energy, put a limit on how much time you will spend with them.  You can also politely steer the conversation away from topics that bring out their negativity.

Another way you can set boundaries is through controlling the conversation. He or she who asks questions controls the conversation. If you ask constructive questions that shift the focus away from the problem and toward possible solutions, you are in control.  For example, if they say something won’t work, ask them what they believe could work.

You can also do what Al did with his bosses at Northwestern Mutual. He used their negativity as an opportunity to reaffirm his goals. Al reminded himself of his past successes, why he joined this industry (to help people), and re-envisioned how he would continue to do this on his own.  He understood Og Mandino’s classic mantra, “I will persist until I succeed.” 

One more thought on this topic.  In some cases, the best response to a persistent Naysayer who is relentless in their negativity is to ignore them.  Not everyone’s opinion deserves your attention.  Remember, their opinion and $1 will buy you a Sweet Tea at McDonald’s, nothing more. Don’t give more value to a Naysayer’s opinion than it’s actually worth.

Lastly, it’s important to surround yourself with positive supporters. You negate the impact of the Naysayer by spending time with people who believe in you, who support your vision and will offer their assistance and support to help you achieve success.  Successful people will surround themselves with those who keep reminding them of all the reasons they can rather than all of the excuses why they can’t.

Al also used the skepticism of others as motivation to prove them wrong. Doubt other people try to put on you, rightly used, can fuel determination and persistence.

Remember, there will always be Naysayers.

The good news is that you don’t have to accept their negativity.

Naysayers can serve as opportunities for growth, pushing you to strengthen your resolve and refine your vision. Their doubts can fuel your determination and strengthen your dedication, making you more resilient, more committed, and more resourceful.

When you’re faced with Naysayers, remember that YOU get to define what you believe. You get to choose the thoughts you think, and the actions you take.

Successful people constantly remind themselves of the skills they are honing, the progress they are making, and the WINs they have already experienced. Success breeds success.  This is why daily growth is SO important.  It serves as a constant reminder that you are learning, growing, improving, maturing, and daily becoming a better version of who you are and what you do.

This fuels Black Belt Confidence that allows you to stay in the ring, keep fighting the good fight, and experience more wins in your life.  

There will always be Naysayers.

The good news is you don’t have to accept their negativity.