Overcoming Fear
It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness. (Chinese Proverb)
What are you afraid of?
What keeps you awake at night?
What haunting image holds you back from reaching your goals and dreams?
What do you fear?
And more importantly, WHY?
By definition, fear an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. It’s also defined as a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone.
Fear is a strong emotion, often triggered by the awareness or anticipation of danger. According to Real Life Management, it’s one of the three dominant negative emotions (along with anger and guilt) experienced when people are under stress or distress.
It’s built into our DNA. Our amygdala, the center of the “fight or flight” response, is hardwired for fear. Anytime your brain senses danger, whether real or perceived, it triggers a chemical response that dumps adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, preparing the body to either fight or flee.
Muscles tense, blood vessels expand, heart rate accelerates, vision narrows, hearing becomes more acute, and our senses are heightened.
This response, the priming of the body for action, was essential in our ancient past when nomadic living in an often inhospitable landscape exposed our ancestors to very real dangers from warring tribes, wild animals, pestilence, or dangerous weather conditions, such as famine, drought, or storms.
What we learned, as we evolved into a more civilized society, is that many of the things primitive humans were afraid of were due to a lack of understanding or simple ignorance. Lightning and thunder were once believed to be the wrath of the gods.
What man couldn’t explain, they fabricated a story in an attempt to justify the fear they were experiencing, passing these stories on to future generations who perpetuated the lie. The emotion of fear responded to our ignorance and ancient humans simply accepted this as truth.
This initial response to fear was reactive.
There was no attempt to gain understanding, to evaluate if our emotional response was valid and justified based on what we were experiencing at the moment. As a result, we taught our children to be afraid, and they taught their children to be afraid, rather than simply asking the question,
“Is this something I need to be afraid of?”
One of the concepts we teach in martial arts is situational awareness, Zanshin in Japanese. It’s defined as a heightened sense of awareness, being prepared for danger, and ready to take appropriate action.
Zanshin, literally “remaining mind”, is about being conscious of what is happening around us and evaluating our response in advance. It’s about intentionally aware of what’s going on around us and choosing in advance how to respond, When we’re AWARE of what’s going on around us, we can proactively determine if there is a threat to our welfare or well-being, and evaluate our available options in response.
It’s a proactive response to fear.
If you’re reactive, you have a higher propensity to respond to your baser instincts. This typically manifests itself as fight, flight, or freeze. No evaluation as to whether or not the threat you’re responding to is even valid, or whether the response is appropriate, or even effective.
It’s why victims of rape, assault, or other violent crime often report an inability to fight back or run away, as the fear they are experiencing in the moment is so terrifying, they lose the ability to control their bodies and are incapable of fighting back or running away.
Zanshin is about AWARENESS, because when you are aware you are in control. When you’re now aware, you’re not in control. And when you’re not in control, your amygdala will determine how you will (or won’t) respond to a threat, without any conscious thought as to whether the threat you’re perceiving is real.
By becoming AWARE, you can shape life on your own terms. You can dictate your own outcomes, and CHOOSE how you respond to the world around you.
You take control of fear, rather than fear controlling you.
This is how you overcome fear.
Within the concept of Zanshin is a principle also found in Greek philosophy, “Know thyself.” Learning to become situationally aware starts with asking the question, “Is this something I need to be afraid of?” Evaluating which threats are real and which are only imagined allows us to focus our attention where it needs to be.
The ancient Greeks understood when we become conscious, keenly aware of the world around us, we question, we analyze, we observe, and we learn. They also realized fear, rightly used, can lead to even greater awareness. Let me share a personal example you may be able to relate to as well:
Do you remember learning to ride a bicycle? I started on a tricycle before graduating to a bicycle with training wheels. Migrating to a bicycle was scary because it was unknown, uncomfortable, and unfamiliar. My brain interpreted this as dangerous, something to be afraid of. And I was.
I would get on my bike, tell myself it will be okay, and start peddling. Over time, I became AWARE of how to balance on the bike. As my confidence grew, so did my speed. I was practicing Zanshin, and learning to overcome the fear that was holding me back.
One day, my dad removed my right training wheel. If I leaned too far to the right, I would fall over. The fear returned. Again, I had to ask myself if this was something I needed to be afraid of, and if I was going to let fear control me. At first, I got really good at making left-hand turns, but I got better at going straight ahead as well.
Then came the day my dad removed the left training wheel. Once again, the fear returned. My dad reminded me of all the times I’d ridden down the street on four wheels, then three, and each time I rode, I gained confidence in myself and my ability. I was learning to control my fear.
Dad held my seat and started to run alongside me, encouraging me to keep pedaling as I’d always done before. The plan was to go to the end of the block and turn around. About halfway down the block, I realized I had picked up speed and left my dad standing on the side of the road.
In that moment, I became AWARE of my ability, and the fear left. I went to the end of the block, turned the corner, and kept going.
I’ve used that same principle over and over again my entire life. Practicing the concept of Zanshin, becoming situationally aware, allowed me to evaluate which threats were real and which ones were a figment of my imagination. As a result, I’ve learned to control fear and choose my response rather than allowing fear to control my life and limit my future.
And YOU can do the very same thing.
You can learn to overcome fear.
It requires that you go within yourself, question the emotions you’re experiencing, and more importantly WHY. It’s how you and I overcame our fear of the dark, riding a bike, driving a car, climbing a ladder, or any of the other fears we experienced as children.
It’s learning to practice Zanshin, to become consciously aware of what’s going on in the world around you, evaluating the risks you face, and determining how you will respond to them.
It’s about learning to reprogram your emotional response to fear.
Remember, a reactive response to fear is only reinforcing the fear of the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable, or the unknown. It’s what holds you back from achieving your full potential in life, because success in life is always on the other side of uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or the unknown.
Ask Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Madame Curre, Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandella, or anyone who had to face the fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable. They will tell you they chose NOT to live life by default, allowing fear to hold them back from saying, doing, or becoming more.
There is an old Chinese proverb that says,"It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." Choosing to live in fear, to remain in fear, is simply cursing the darkness, and remaining where you are That is allowing fear to control your life, paralyze you, and limit your success in life.
Black Belt Leaders in Life choose to light a candle, illuminate their path, and find a way forward. They choose to challenge their fears, to question whether or not this is even something to be afraid of, and move forward anyway.
Overcoming fear comes down to a choice. Remain bound by fear and curse the darkness or light a candle and find a way forward.
Both are choices. You get to choose, and live with the consequences.
Choose wisely, and overcome your fear.