The Names We Call Ourselves

When the names we call ourselves cast blame, insult, ridicule, or humiliation on ourselves, we close the door to our future success.

We can be our own worst critics.

Our own worst enemy often stares back at us when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

We are far too often the saboteurs of our success in life.

Sadly, we do it to ourselves all day, every day, and we don't even realize we do it.

We believe we are not worthy of success.

And we remind ourselves of that every single day of our lives by the names we repeatedly call ourselves.

Interestingly enough, one of the definitions of WORD is "a command, password, or signal." Yet how little attention do we give to the words we speak to ourselves, over ourselves, without realizing the power of these words.

It's not enough that we blame others when we fail, we often blame ourselves. Rather than point the finger at others, we beat ourselves over the head with negative thoughts, negative words, and we see ourselves as a failure rather than a person who has failed.

We all fail.

Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. As I've shared previously, this is one of the ways we learn. The greatest inventors of the world discovered what didn't work as they worked diligently to create something that never existed before.

They failed early, they failed often, but they kept failing forward. Each failure was seen as a learning opportunity, moving them one step closer to success.

Yet, this is all too often the exception and not the rule.

How often do you hear the people around you belittle themselves, demean themselves, or talk down to themselves when they make a mistake?

I hear it almost every single day.

At a local restaurant, a server forgot a customer's toast. When it was brought to her attention, she replied, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a forgetful idiot."

Later that morning, I stopped by a Big Box store to pick up a few items. As I rounded the corner, I came across an employee who was muttering to herself as she was stocking a shelf. "I can't believe I screwed up again. What a loser!"

As I'm waiting in line to get to the self-checkout, I overheard a conversation a young man was having with someone on his phone. "Yep, I did it again, and boy is she mad at me. I don't know why I aways say the wrong thing. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

Every one of these individuals was playing "The Blame Game" with themselves, and they were winning! But in winning the game, they are losing in life.

We tell ourselves that we really don't believe we are stupid, idiots, or losers. But really, we do. We are subconsciously speaking to ourselves what we believe to be true about ourselves. We see ourselves as lacking, inept, or worthless and this is manifested in the descriptive names we call ourselves.

As you speak, you become!

Names like idiot, moron, stupid, dumb, jerk, lunatic, loser, fool, dimwit, doofus, nitwit, airhead, crazy, loony, scatterbrain, butthole... These and other derogatory terms only belittle, demean, and continually reinforce a negative view of ourselves.

It's a negative affirmation, a cancer that slowly destroys your self-confidence, your self-esteem, prohibiting you from seeing and seizing the endless opportunities that are always before you that can lead you to more and greater success in your life.

This negative reinforcement causes you to see yourself as inferior, inadequate, or inept. It puts the attention on you and your lack rather than the problem that needs to be resolved, and the resources available to you to do so.

It is reinforcing your belief in yourself as a failure rather than seeing yourself as a person who failed, and who can learn from that failure so they don't repeat it in the future.

Successful people accept failure as a part of life. It's momentary, and to the Black Belt Leader, it's a teachable moment. As such, failure is seen as an event, not an indictment of you as an individual.

Abraham Lincoln, asked about his view of failure, is quoted as saying, "My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." When you've learned the lesson failure is trying to teach you, there's great contentment in that.

Self-pity destroys many lives. Self-blame destroys even more. When the names we call ourselves cast blame, insult, ridicule, or humiliation on ourselves, it's as if we intentionally close the door to personal growth and future success. In doing so, we condemn ourselves to a life of lack.

Is that what you want?

I don't think so.

But it's important to remember that the quality of our thinking dictates the qualtiy of the life we are living.

What we think, we speak. We speak what we believe to be true about ourselves. When our subconscious hears us speaking negative, demeaning words about ourselves, it believes this to be true and focuses its energy and resources on making this a reality in your life.

It's time to pay attention to the names we call ourselves.

To become AWARE of what we are saying to ourselves, about ourselves, and become intentional about speaking positive affirmations that build us up.

To change what we believe to be TRUE about ourselves and reprogram our brains to see ourselves in a positive light.

To see failure as an EVENT and not an expression of who you are.

To learn the lessons life is trying to teach you so you can learn, grow, mature, and become a better version of YOU in the process.

It requires you to listen to your thoughts, and the names you call yourself.

You must change the conversation you're having with yourself.

As you think, you speak and do, and ultimately become.

What names do you call yourself?